Hey everyone! Okay so I feel like it is time to write this post. I have been meaning to do it for such a long time but keep putting it off because ironically, I have been so busy trying to keep up with working crazy shifts, running a YouTube channel, a blog, going to the gym, socializing/seeing friends, family and my boyfriend etc. Life can just get so hectic sometimes and I feel like I need to get off my chest how I have been feeling recently.
I pride myself on being as honest and relatable as I possibly can as a blogger/vlogger. I never ever ever want people to think they can’t approach me or that I am better than them in anyway. I pride myself on being a normal, small town girl who just simply enjoys sharing her loves, thoughts and passions with like-minded people on the internet. However it can be SO easy to get so caught up in this mad social media world where we think that the people we see on social media are so much better, prettier, luckier and wealthier than what we are, or that they have their life totally together and all figured out. We begin to lose sight of what is reality and what is important to US and OUR lives. I mean it when I say I honestly don’t tend to allow myself to think that way because it’s just not my mindset but what I will say is that recently, I have been feeling pressure as a blogger to keep up appearances online when really – I’m so busy with actual real life that it can be hard to keep up sometimes. I feel like I put far too much pressure on myself to always fire out videos and blog posts when to be honest, this is not my full time job – it’s not supposed to feel like ‘work’ or have any ‘pressure’ attached to it. It is my passion and my hobby and of course I want to succeed and do well in it but I also want to do real life things and make real life memories and post/share when I want of whatever I want. I just want to have balance. Recently in my actual job I have been having a bit of a hard time and without going into too much detail I would say I am struggling a bit at the moment with the stress of it all. I will hopefully discuss this at a later date either here or on my YouTube channel when I am more happy, settled and content in my work life – something I am definitely not feeling at the moment. I don’t normally talk about my job on my socials or my blog/YouTube because I want to keep it seperate from my hobby – I just want to express this just now because I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and I feel like I have to mention that in order for people to understand why I may have been a bit quiet recently. My skin hasn’t been great in recent weeks and I have been lacking in motivation to post because purely and simply my job is taking all of my energy at the moment – that’s how it feels to me anyway. Every day I am very grateful to Kyle and my family and friends for keeping me sane and reassuring me that everything is going to be fine – it’s just a wee trying patch in my life at the moment. As I say hopefully I can elaborate on this further later on but for right now, I am just a wee bit drained and I want people to know that.
I think in our culture today it’s almost like if you don’t post things on social media it didn’t happen or isn’t happening. It’s unfortunately just the way we have been conditioned to think these days and recently I have been giving the healthiness of that some thought. It’s concerning to think that people are unfufilled unless they get a daily dose of ‘likes’ or virtual appreciation and acceptance. I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t want anyone who follows me to feel that way. I want you all to be happy in your own skin, your own lives and feel grateful for everything you have and is yet to come, rather than wishing you had what other people already have or post about. I also don’t want anyone to feel like they have to keep up appearances online. If you are struggling, that is okay. If you are feeling overwhelmed that is also okay – life is a journey of ups and downs and social media can mask that sometimes. Social media is what I would call ‘smoke and mirrors’ – it’s all a big illusion and please remember it is only tiny little snippets of someone’s actual life. Don’t get me wrong there is absolutely no harm in using social media for inspiration and encouragement to better yourself as that is exactly what I use it for. I love seeing other people and other bloggers living their best lives and seeing new products or clothes that they find and using it for inspo. I also love seeing sweet moments in people’s lives like babies being born, people getting engaged or married, buying houses and just generally having a great time. However I don’t like to see people tweeting about how seeing people’s pictures on Instagram makes them feel ‘fat’ or ‘ugly’ or insignificant in any way.
I’m sorry if this post is a wee bit all over the place, I just want to express the way I’m feeling because I want to be as relatable as possible as I said in the beginning. Even writing this I feel the need to be like.. “BUT EVERYTHING ELSE IS FINE, EVERYTHING ELSE IN MY LIFE IS BRILLIANT!” .. which it is – but isn’t it crazy how we feel a need to justify it if one tiny thing isn’t perfect? I don’t want to be like that, I want to be real and I want you all to know it is okay to be real and raw and your true selves. Don’t let the black hole of social media suck you in and get you down. Keep it light and positive and keep it moving where you can. From this moment on I am going back to basics. I am going to throw out the idea that I have to have a posting schedule for my blog or YouTube. Obviously I will continue to post regularly because I ADORE it as you all know! However I’m going to post when I feel inspired and when I want to, not because I feel like I have to. If there is one week where I am super busy I’m not going to put pressure on myself to perform or feel bad for not posting – I need to have more balance and that is something I think is so important for everyone. I hope this makes sense and you all understand what I am trying to say without it being too heavy :).
I enjoy sharing my life with you all so much and will continue to – I just need to not be so hard on myself and focus on real life from time to time and be a bit more relaxed, so that my posts and videos shine and inspire you all – after all that is why I started. Love you all loads and thanks for reading – until next time,